Lived in the United States with my father

In 2010 I came to the United States  when I was 21 to live with my father , Ryste,

Ryste & Guerdie

who is a real Christian from the Catholic Church. I remember the same day I came to the United States he took me to church to meet the Priest and his friends at church because it was on Easter weekend. That  weekend, he thanked God in his prayer for that blessed Easter we passed together. We  had never had a chance to be together in a big moment for the past 11 years.
 

 We would have more time in the house to focus on each other's behavior to see what was good and  what needed to change on each other, because my father and I  didn't know each other very well. He used to come to see me when I was a baby, took care of me, spent  money for me but he wasn't  in the house. And I didn't grow up with him. At seven years old he decided to take me to live with him, unfortunately it was only for one year. I was a little girl and  there was no time for us to get to know each other .
 

One of his character traits I observed  when I became an  adult was that he  talked too much; I realized that  before I moved to live with him in the United States because we used to talk on  the phone and I could see his reactions. But he had some good character traits too.
  What I love about my father is  that he is very responsible, caring, and loves  his children. He has five children, two boys and three girls and I'm the youngest. For this reason  I get more attention, more love, more care, even more control. 

At age 24, I decided it was time to have my independence  and I moved to my own apartment. It was so hard for him. He even got sick and depressed.  It wasn't his intention to see me leave the house before I get married. Even though I'm not in his house he still supports me. He always has his car available when I need it, he pays for my car repair, when he came in to my house he checks the refrigerator to see what I'm missing  and  brings some shopping in the house. He knows I like banana,  cereal, and green vegetables because he knows  I'm sick with anemia.
 Sometimes I feel like he does too much for me. But he always says to me: "I know you're not a healthy person you need to take care of yourself; When you were next to me I  wasn't afraid of anything, I knew how you used to eat, sleep, and wake up in the morning " he said to me.

  I love my father very much and I really appreciate his support, his love, and the way he takes care of me. He knows his  responsibilities as a father. I remember when I first came to  the United States, my father taught me how this country  changes people's life and all the opportunities I would have to make something in my life if I  had  gumption. He always wanted me to be a nurse. "If your brothers and your sisters came in the United States in their twenties almost thirties, and they became an engineer, nurse, social worker and business; you came younger and you are even smarter than them ..you can do it. I want to see you do something for yourself before I die. Once I see you  become something God can take me if he wants" he always say to me.

  I'm so proud to have my father in my life and no regrets for the time we had spent together. Now, we are living separately in different houses. One thing I know  is God will keep my father  and I  in life to have my dream come true.  My dream is to have my father living with me in my house when he gets older so I can take of him as he used to take care of me

ME&MY LOVELY  DAD

 

My separation from my grand mother Marie Jeanne

At seven years old my father decided to take me to live with him in the Capital.Full of regrets, I left my grandmother with my mother out in the country. And I moved to my father's house in Port-au Prince.

 Arriving to his house in the capital, we had a nice life together. As a man he took care of me very well. He fed me, showered me, took me to school every morning and every afternoon when he was home. If he was not home somebody else would do it. Generally he used to do everything for me. What I liked the most was when he took me every afternoon after I finished my homework at six pm out to buy some (fritay) what we call fast-food in the United States but we do it in a different way in Haiti.

At the end of the year my father moved to the United States in 1999. I stayed with my brothers and sisters. Since that time my life started to change.  I had to wash my own clothes, nobody took me in and out from school, everything had changed. The only thing I didn't  do was cook for myself, but at age 13 I started to cook for myself .I couldn't Even make a good grade in  school anymore. When he was in the house he used to help me with my studies ; once he left I didn't have anybody to help me. When I got home from school if I studied my lessons and did my homework I did it, but nobody  cared. Now, everything was totally changed and I asked, why did my Father take  me away from my Grandmother? If I was still living with her, I would not be in this situation.

 Two years later, for summer vacation I went back to see my grandmother. She was very excited to see me. We had fun and everybody was happy. What made me more Happy was  when she called all her grandchildren and grouped us together with our parents and we took a trip to a river half an hour from our house.

We had a lot of fun we ate a lot of grilled fish and we drank a lot of coconut water. I really enjoyed my whole month with them. Then I came back in the Capital to continue with my school. I couldn't leave them especially my grandmother but I had to leave because I couldn't stay  any longer.

In 2005, I was far away from my mother's family. The communications were not like it is now, at that time most of the people had no cell phone or a home phone in their house, so it was hard for us to communicate with each other. 
 
 One day I decided to visit my mother's cousin, she was the closest of my mother's family member in the capital. When I got to her house, she asked me: "did you hear from your mother?" No, why? I replied. She said to me: "your grandmother had passed away two weeks ago", that was on Thursday. I was so quiet and I couldn't say anything just the way she sounded to me made me cry and she was crying also. Right after, I made my way back to my house without saying anything. But in my mind I knew "it was impossible for my grandmother to die, and my mother would not say anything to me. No, No, No, it was impossible because she knew how close we were together."

 A month later  I realized that was really true and the funeral was already over. At that time there were no morgues in the city, and the body could not have stayed for more than two days in the house. I was worried, and asked; why did my mother do that to me? Because my grandmother was sick for a few months before she passed away, and my mother never told me about it.
I didn't know why - probably she thought I was too young; my presence would not mean a lot, or maybe she was afraid of my father? I don't know. Because when my father took me away from my grand mother and my mother he didn't want me to go back to see them.
  Three years after her death, I visited them my pain and my worries were getting worse; then I heard from my uncle that my grand mother last words within her last breath: were:"would you let me go without seeing my daughter Didine"? she said to my mother. She used to call me Didine.
  I finally realized everybody has a time to live is life and when it's time to go when God wants  you or call you nobody can't stop it. this is away to say I can forget her death but forget her last words that's will never happen.